haddadadad

It’s not sexual, you dirty-minded weirdo.

It’s a fish de-boner! “My wife will like that!”

The kid that died from heart failure earlier in the hockey year, Alexei Cherepanov, has now been confirmed to have been found blood doping. The final word, from Hockey New’s The Canadian Press:

Russia’s federal Investigative Committee said a chemical analysis of the samples allowed experts to conclude “that for several months Alexei Cherepanov engaged in blood doping.” There was no elaboration, and a spokeswoman at the committee refused to comment further.

The statement also said Cherepanov in his final year suffered from myocarditis, a condition where not enough blood gets to the heart, and should not have been playing professional hockey.

The club’s medical team might carry legal liability in the episode, the statement added.

“A row of gross violations was committed by the medical brigade helping A. Cherepanov,” the statement said. Among them, doctors arrived on the scene a full 12 minutes after Cherepanov collapsed, and the battery on the defibrillator to attempt shock Cherepanov’s heart back into life was drained, the statement said.

This is dumb. What the hell was he using anyway?

deadspin article

The latest summer Olympics in Beijing saw the international introduction of the LZR Racer suits by Speedo. Michael Phelps wore the suit and got 8 medals. He wasn’t the only one breaking records wearing that thing. So I hear.

Now the kiddies in college and even younger are seeking out the perishable suits at 550$ a pop. The suits are in top form for three meets. After that, the quality drastically falls. Part of their awesomeness is how they fit the swimmer like skin. It stretches after being used and peeled off a few times. Budgets are stopping many teams from getting a set uniform, but those with the money can acquire them. Coaches and committees alike fear there will be a great divide between those competitors with the means and those without. Though the suits have not been scientifically shown to improve performance, the outcome of the Olympic Games this year is leading folks to believe otherwise.

Speedo is offering discounts to some NCAA teams to help combat cost, but many are asking for a ban on the suits in amateur events. An even worse outcome of this mess: kids quitting the sport due to financial issues. How bogus. As reported by the Washington Post, USA Swimming has already banned the suits for 12 years of age and younger. What makes this thing so great, other than look fanfuckingtastic on swimmer bods? Gizmodo’s Jack Lotus gave the lowdown in back in August,

The seams are ultrasonically welded together and the Hyrdo[sic] Form Compression system holds the swimmer’s abdomen and other bits at an optimal position for streamlining. The suit is made up off three pieces, which were cut from a three-dimensional pattern to hug the body more closely. Word on the street is it takes about 15 minutes or so to squeeze into this marvel of modern swimming pool engineering.

It looks like the suit’s awesomeness is equal to a brace for an ankle or a wrist. It provides external support for the muscles and joints with the tension of the fabric. Certain parts require more strength than others due to the nature of the muscle being covered, like the gluts or apparently the hamstrings. The tension is the best when the suit is new, and it breaks down the more it is used and stretched. Wraps suck after a few weeks of constant use. They lose their elasticity. Wraps don’t cost several hundred dollars, though.

People commenting on the article in Deadspin have decided that to end this coming separation is for swimmers to compete in the nude. Works for me.

buy your own suit!
Speedo’s fancy website special for the Racer
washington post article
deadspin article
gizmodo
USA Swimming’s official website

Rugby. Australia Dreamtime vs New Zealand Maori.

I knew rugby players were a bit on the intense side… this just makes it all the more awesome.

spotted on deadpsin

A new sandwich place is coming our way in Urbana Champaign. Actually, it opened last week. I saw it in a sports blog, of all things. This place is called Fat Sandwiche Company, and the sandwiches are as big as footballs. Well, at least one. This one:

The real reason I’m mentioning this seemingly insignificant news item is because FSC has a sandwich that could kill you. And you know I love food that’s so over the top that it’s deadly. For $25 you can buy a sandwich called “Big Fat Ugly”. It consists of two rolls, four cheeseburgers, a double cheesesteak, a chicken cheesesteak, gyro meat, grilled chicken, bacon, sausage, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, chicken nuggets, mac n cheese bites, fried mushrooms, jalapeño poppers, pizza bites, onion rings, hash browns, American cheese, mayo, and ketchup. Eat this six pound, football-sized monster in less than 15 minutes and your sandwich is free.

^– spanno on Al Dente

The 217 has big long interview with the owners of the joint. It looks like a Howboutabagel type deal. Nomnom. Oh… now I’m hungry.
deadspin. yeah.

MATTHEW BARNABY IS INTERVIEWING FOR A POSITION WITH ESPN ISN’T THAT WEIRD YET AWESOME? I THINK SO.

let’s go pens.

and making them mad. somehow this isn’t so inspiring.

if this ad was made by a female, i will become sad. if anything, having rotund buns makes it way, way, WAY harder to find clothes in the shops. so fuck you, nike, and you’re treating girls like sexy running things that are primarily here to look good. fuck. off.

deadspin ilu

Okay. Jaime Nared is 12-years-old and playing on boys’ traveling basketball teams, and she’s not allowed to play on the team anymore because she is too good. This is the 12-year-old level. The gal is already 6′1″ and is schooling the guys. Forget the girls’ teams her age. She beats the pulp out of them, too. Her good friend, Kailee Johnson, is one grade older than her. And 6′2″. They play on the local high school’s girls’ team together. People are pissed about Jaime trying playing with the boys because… well i’m not sure why. And playing on the high school team is pissing off the parents of girls that miiiiight be getting less court time because the middle-schooler is there. Dudes… she’s really good. Chill the fuck out.

For those who don’t play sports, the general tradition of females versus males is that males tend to be faster, stronger, and more agile than females. Males naturally have more testosterone and therefore can retain muscle mass growth better than females. They play at different levels and therefore play on different teams. But skill is pretty arbitrary. Jaime and I can only assume Kailee as well are screwing with that. HAH.

This is fucking cool.

NY Times article
Deadspin article

wtf? girls are shitting in their undies and putting it on the noobs heads.

iz gross and reported by deadspin and stuff

Deadspin gave a bit more thorough explanation about the banning of blacks and Mongols:

Beijing is serious about street-level enforcement of trafficking and prostitution (if you don’t see it on the street it doesn’t happen!) and this affects some Africans and Mongolians who, accurately or not, are profiled by police as perpetrators of these two vices.

That said, if there was indeed a directive issued concerning blacks and Mongolians it was probably more like: “Don’t let African drug dealers or Mongolian prostitutes into your bar,” a statement echoed by some interviews done by our man Beijing Boyce. We’re not sure what this would mean for blacks or reputable Mongolians in Beijing, many of whom already deal with some not-so-subtle racism from the locals. So it’s not that we question a disregard for racial sensitivity; there’s certainly that. After all, there is enough information available that leads us to believe enforcement figures approached bars and told the owners to monitor their black and Mongolian patrons. We just don’t think that any secret, official ban was issued.

So there you have it. It’s more they’re targeting the problem and some people are getting caught in the crossfire. I hope. In other Olympian news, Iraq will not be participating in the games this year. Their Olympic committee’s 7 picks were ignored and replaced instead by the government’s own favorites. Weird. The International Olympic Committee says boo-hiss to this disregard for hard-won placement, so banninating the Iraqi team was the only thing to be done in such a short time frame. Too bad. Some of the original members of the appointed Olympic committee for Iraq have been missing for a few years. Hm.