haddadadad

Teen to friend: With big asses come big responsibilities.
Friend: True, true.

–Grand Concourse

overheard in new york

The latest summer Olympics in Beijing saw the international introduction of the LZR Racer suits by Speedo. Michael Phelps wore the suit and got 8 medals. He wasn’t the only one breaking records wearing that thing. So I hear.

Now the kiddies in college and even younger are seeking out the perishable suits at 550$ a pop. The suits are in top form for three meets. After that, the quality drastically falls. Part of their awesomeness is how they fit the swimmer like skin. It stretches after being used and peeled off a few times. Budgets are stopping many teams from getting a set uniform, but those with the money can acquire them. Coaches and committees alike fear there will be a great divide between those competitors with the means and those without. Though the suits have not been scientifically shown to improve performance, the outcome of the Olympic Games this year is leading folks to believe otherwise.

Speedo is offering discounts to some NCAA teams to help combat cost, but many are asking for a ban on the suits in amateur events. An even worse outcome of this mess: kids quitting the sport due to financial issues. How bogus. As reported by the Washington Post, USA Swimming has already banned the suits for 12 years of age and younger. What makes this thing so great, other than look fanfuckingtastic on swimmer bods? Gizmodo’s Jack Lotus gave the lowdown in back in August,

The seams are ultrasonically welded together and the Hyrdo[sic] Form Compression system holds the swimmer’s abdomen and other bits at an optimal position for streamlining. The suit is made up off three pieces, which were cut from a three-dimensional pattern to hug the body more closely. Word on the street is it takes about 15 minutes or so to squeeze into this marvel of modern swimming pool engineering.

It looks like the suit’s awesomeness is equal to a brace for an ankle or a wrist. It provides external support for the muscles and joints with the tension of the fabric. Certain parts require more strength than others due to the nature of the muscle being covered, like the gluts or apparently the hamstrings. The tension is the best when the suit is new, and it breaks down the more it is used and stretched. Wraps suck after a few weeks of constant use. They lose their elasticity. Wraps don’t cost several hundred dollars, though.

People commenting on the article in Deadspin have decided that to end this coming separation is for swimmers to compete in the nude. Works for me.

buy your own suit!
Speedo’s fancy website special for the Racer
washington post article
deadspin article
gizmodo
USA Swimming’s official website

Jess shared this on her reader, originally spotted on boingboing. Blik Surface Graphics has made wall stickers of officially licensed Nintendo scenes of the original Super Mario Bros, original Donkey Kong, and New Super Mario Bros.

This has got to be one of the greatest inventions ever in the the history of decorating. I tried finding pictures besides the one stock photo on blik, and while i didn’t find better shots, i did find Tetris for sale on Etsy and Space Invaders on geeksugar.

Unfortunately on geeksugar there was an ad for these new bathing suits for females. i had no idea style went down the shitter this summer. You can get them at american apparel, though! Way to focus on the camel toe area. Thanks, designers. Because swim suits aren’t weird enough. I didn’t realize they made suits without the intention of flattering any human female figure. Normally they just exclude the fat girls.

We should all get naked.